It's five o'clock somewhere

Middle woke me up at 5:15 to ask me if the potty worked. Five frick frackin fifteen. Simply because we had to water turned off for a few hours to work on the sprinkler system the day before. She had since gone potty and the water was on. All was well. But, I guess, at the butt crack of dawn, potty anxiety is heightened.

I wanted to throw her in a chair in a darkened cinder block cell, and interrogate her in a menacing voice under a dimly lit lamp, until sweat beaded on her brow, asking, "why... just WHY the thought of just flushing the dang thing was too much to comprehend"... and then accept my guest appearance on Law and Order SVU like a champ.... which would lead to an Emmy nomination...

and then I remembered I wasn't auditioning, it was 5 in the gall dang morning and my head hurt just thinking about uttering a sound, so I cracked an eye and murmured "yeah." and went back to bed.

Until she came in and asked if I was sleeping. And why the "paper toilet" (her unique terminology for toilet paper) is white. At five frick frackin twenty.

And thus begins my day.