WTF # 23

I am all about fabric these days. Obviously.

Which means may trips to Joanns fabric . Joanns is the armpit of society these days. I have been twice in the past 2 days. Went to one that is further away, in Little Mexico. Seriously every store surrounding it started with El. El Laundromat, El Check into Cash, El Meat Counter, stuff like that. The actual fabric store is in a run-down old Safeway left over from the sixties. But I put on my big girl panties and dealt with it.

I spend a good half hour picking out what I need, and get in the cutting line. When Baloney announces she has to go potty. And she's two. SO when the 2 year old needs to jump on the throne, you run and get it done. Because who wants to deal with pee pee pants and puddles in public. I'm looking around, can't find the restrooms, so I go up front and ask. I wait a bit while they finish their conversation about earthworms and plastics, and then ask where the bathrooms are. I am then informed that they don't have "public restrooms".

WTF?!?!?! This big ol Joanns has no "public restrooms." Whatttt. How about paying customer restrooms? It's not like it's Walgreens where you run in and out. It's a place where people sit, look through books, molest fabric, I mean really. I then ask if they have a bush for her to pee in. Ok, so I didn't really...but I should have. I then take Baloney, load her up in the car, drive her across the 4 lane road to Burger King because if Joann's doesn't have public restrooms, I had a feeling that El dry cleaners didn't either. And I don't read spanish. so there.

We head back to Joann's, get Baloney back out, get out stupid fabric cut and go home and cry for 4.5 hours.

And I decided to torture myself again and head to another Joann's today. This time it was a real quick stop. Baloney climbed into the basket part of the cart and was playing with Dora and Diego. She had taken her shoes off, and I told her she needed to put her shoes back on so she could walk. She stands up to put her boot on, and Amazon Scissorhands screeches in her screechy voice. " Oh honey, she has to sit down while she is in the cart."

Um.. WTF? Who are you? Shopping cart police. I'm annoyed with the fact that I am called Honey. I'm not her honey, and I'm not 5, but thanks. Second of all, I like to think on most days I do the responsible parent thing and pay attention to the safety of my kids. She is not even 3 feet tall, so she'd have to be doing the Samba to fall out of the cart, She's not. She's bent over and I am within an arm's reach of bringing her back to safety. I say "she is fine." Amazon Scissorhands tells me that it is a rule that she has to be sitting. I retort with a juvenile "Says who?" I ask where these rules are posted. She says they aren't. Duh. I guess I must have totally flunked shopping cart etiquette 101 in my parent handbook. She then says "Well, we had a kid tip out, so we are making sure that all children are sitting down." I should have asked her if she is checking immunizations and food intake as well. After all, all children need things like food.

Joanns can kiss my fabric covered ass.