WTF wed # 39570235

This is a continuous WTF. The groundhog day of WTF-ness. In fact, it happens so often, it really shouldn't be a WTF, but just a fact of life.

My kids love the bath. They don't take one every day, more in the summer because they are walking dirt pits then, but often. Oldielocks is super old at nine, and prefers showers, but every now and then will jump in the tub for good ol' playtime. Middle stays in until she's a prune, the water's freezing, and she is turning blue. Baloney lands more water on our floor than Shamu, it's true.

We have the same ritual when they get out: towels, lotion, pj's. And since they are all girls, we then do detangler/hair serum/ bacon grease whatever it takes to get the tangles out. Otherwise they will wake up looking like a rat convention took place on the back of their hair. I even braid Baloney's because despite the careful combing, she manages to turn into a dread head, every time.

I have them pick up their towels, clothes, put the toys away. In theory this sounds great, but it fails me every time. Then my bathroom looks spotless. Like not a bath was had. And that's a bad thing? Oh yes, yes it is.

You see, I'll walk in, drop my Victoria's Secret undergarments, sit down, and realize I am on a slip n slide to Hades. My booty will slide like a Honda in an ice storm. I land cheek side up between the toilet and the tub, just about every time. I look like an outlandish fool from a cartoon, my face frozen in terror as I realize that if I had a small butt crack before.... I don't now. Arms thrown out like I'm an umpire calling someone safe at home, and my drawers are all potato sacked race at my feet. I'm a hot mess going nowhere fast.

Every mother WTF time.

Why? Why do they wait until they get in the time to realize they have to pee? I can tell them beforehand, watch them go pee, have them sign legal papers that they will, yet someone has to climb out of the tub, sopping wet, and pee. I always get stuck with the storm surge.

WTF... in my bathroom, all the time.