Just another moron monday

Yeahhhhh

I have never been a Monday hater. Until today. Monday needs to get it's butt kicked to Wednesday, possibly Thursday. Let us see....

~Woke up... thought it was Sunday. Rolled over until my not so fantastic husband wakes me, telling me he slept through the alarm. Apparently that's important for me to know. I could see where he thought to wake me up out of my sleep, to let me know that. And besides, he's not really late.

~Woke up the kidlets. One opted to take a bath before breakfast, the other after. Oldielocks took 5,000 years to drag her happy self downstairs, and Middle splashed away in the tub like she was trying out for the summer Olympics, an amazing feat which required her not to get her hair wet. Because washing your hair while in the tub is obviously not the thing to do. Baloney decides she doesn't like her choice of breakfast and proclaims that she is done (over and over and over.)

~went and dumped gallons of water on the Middle, got her to wash her hair, Oldielocks takes a shower. I make lunches, only to find we have many juice boxes with no straws. This is not a zoo, where straws are confiscated, merely a one year old's obsession with destroying anything in a8 foot radius of her tornadic body.

~Finally got Frick and Frack almost out the door, have my gym clothes on complete with fine glitter that Baloney had dumped out the night before. It was all cleaned up, but unless you have ever dealt with fine glitter, you will truly learn that it NEVER goes away. I will be finding glitter in every crack and crevice for months. Yay.

~open the front door to find the front sprinkler head is cracked and spraying the door. Yeah the same door that I have to lock. Nothing like water spraying down your back and of course, I fumble the key. I'm not made of sugar and I'm not going to melt, but seriously, when the water is making your underwear cling to your shorts, it sucks.

~Get on the freeway, and of course, there is an accident. About 5 miles down the road. So we play stop and go, forever, while the tardy time bomb is ticking as I try to get the oldest to school. Once we get past the accident, we put out our wings and fly, and get Oldie to the school one minute late. The gate is still open and I tell her she better make like the roadrunner and get in that gate. She does, and I wipe the sweat off my brow.

~At the gym, working out, doing my sweaty thing. I need to work my arms. But everyone and their grandson is at the arm section. Having a party. Complete with kool aid. I'm not about to take my swampy, glittery self over there and pretend like I'm ready to do some damage. I hang out for a few more minutes, do some crunches and call it a day.

~Went to target. Where Baloney has made it her life ambition to climb out of the seat of the cart. I spend the next 20 minutes trying the get the things I need, preventing the kid from breaking her head, fielding questions about if Shamu likes cupcakes and how many would he eat, and go on my merry way.

~Not so super husband calls, forgot to bring lunch from home...and wallet. I told him that people in Malaysia only eat grubs and leaves once a day, and that he will be fine. Gnaw off a limb if the hunger gets to much to bear. He fails to see my humor in things and in being the softie that I am, I bring him lunch, only because his work is on the way home, after Kindergarten drop off.

~I order Wendy's, and of course get the worker who hates the place, but it too lazy to do anything else with their life. She and I had a moment, and I waited forever for my food, since I was ordering a 9 course meal and they had to pluck the chicken before they could make the nuggets. Wendy's so wasn't worth it.

~Now I am at home for a bit, before the afternoon school rush begins. It's hot out, Baloney finally is a sleep and I just finished eating a chocolate fat nasty pretzel. It so wasn't worth it.

~I'm not even half way through the day.... and yes I realize that my rant is ridiculous, and petty and totally nothing to complain about. But the chocolate pretzel? Couldn't I have just walked away. Damn thing!