Thursday, August 27, 2009

Children's Museum.


I took my kids to the children's museum the other day.
It was cool, with vacuums on the wall and a pillow fight room.
a true mattresses on the wall filled with pillows- room.

It's interesting, the people that hang out at the children's museum.

Like the mom, who forgot that she was going out in public and wore
Lycra bicycle shorts and a faded green tank top. The tank top didn't respect
the fact that her belly was supposed to be covered. A bra would have been nice too.
It gets cold in there.
Her little boy was about 4. And when he fell backwards into the pile of soft foam blocks,
it was the end of the world.
For her.
She picked him up, and rocked him, kissed him, cuddled him, whispered sweet nothings, and loudly spoke about how he had fallen backwards.
(um on his ass where it's cushioned. He didn't care until she went beserko.)

Then I ran into Grandma. As we left the awesome pillow fight room, I saw a pair of pink high tops.
Pink converse with a brown strip up the back. Absolutely adorable.
I said to Grandma, "what cute shoes!"
I must have been speaking ding dong-ese
because she grabbed them from their spot a foot away and clutched them to her lap.
Apparently she thought I said "Oh my god I will snatch your grandchild barefooted and stuff you inside the port-a-party music booth just so I can have those amazing million dollar shoes." Or something like that. I guess I should have told her how being a shoe klepto is in my past. I am a changed woman.

The museum staff is friendly. Especially the one playing with the TV. Her crack was playing peek a boo with all the children. As in her buttcrack. For at least a half hour. I guess it take a rocket scientist to realize that crack at a children's museum is a no-no. Crack of any kind.

We went to lunch afterwards. Where the organic burger restaurant is on the list as kid friendly. But for $9 a burger with no fries, nothing is friendly. I settled for walking my children pass the homeless man dancing and gesturing and perhaps humping the pretzel counter, before we settled on Steak Escape. I win mother of the year for that.

I could go on and on. But I won't. People are crazy. Let's leave it at that.
but it was fun. Crazies and all.

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