Sunday, March 02, 2008

I was out shopping....

Had a few things to get at the mall today, so took Hubby and Tornado with me to get them. I was looking for a pair of pale tan shoes, pretty much the color of vomit, but without the smell. We went in a store that had millions of shoes in very color,height, style imaginable. I'm bent over trying to deal with the whodingy on the strap of my shoes, in front of the mirror. I glance up to check out my swank and swagger in my new shoes, when something to the left catches my eye. There is a 40ish year old gentleman, with well... I don't really know. My eyes couldn't get past the jingle bell boxers. Dude was wearing red and green boxers, as shorts, really short shorts, that said Jingle Bells in big letters. First of all.... it's not christmas. Not even close to christmas. And while it's a warmer day, not THAT warm that you'd be out struttin' in your boxers.

While I picked my chin up off the floor and wiped my eyes with a antiseptic cloth, I noticed the fanny pack. Not just any fanny pack, but a beaded one, straight off the $5.99 souvenir table in Four Corners, New Mexico. And it wasn't on his fanny. It was holding court on his front, right between the "jingle" and the "bells". I watched him hold out shoes for his wife, while his daughter sat on the bench. In Target clothes, appropriate for public outings. The fashion memo they were passing around before they left the house never made it to him. I looked down and took my shoes off, making sure not to meet eyes with Hubby. I saw the family start to leave, so I stared straight at the floor counting "99 bottles of kool-aid on the wall" before I looked up, for fear that skid marks would be marking a road down the back of his pants as he left.

I saw the heading towards Sears. Perhaps St. Patrick's Day boxers were on sale, and dude needed something to wear to church.

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