Saturday, April 19, 2008

Oh no she di'nt

"Although inspired in part by a true incident, the following story is fictional and does not depict any actual person or event."

You see, as many do these days, I visit online communities. Many message boards that appeal to me and my obsessions, like Gymboree, Photography, etc. A lot of times I have rolled my little brown eyes.... (yes I have little brown beady Indian eyes... the kind that make you wonder if you will be scalped or rain danced around) at some of things people talk about or what they say.

Anyways I recently had joined a message board, that was....well, a joke. Sort of an online Mean Girls club. There was no initiation ritual like swapping virtual blood or getting computer tattoos, but there was a whole mantra of "what happens here, stays here." I know, a tired cliche, but true. The place wasn't rockin like Vegas where it needed an understanding such as that, seriously it wasn't. More along the lines of
"My cat farted today."
"OMG, you said farted."
"I always say farted. Sometimes I even say *whisper* "fucker fart."
"Me too! I am so glad that I can share that here. I feel so "me" now that you know."

Intelligent conversation? You decide.

The thing I noticed quickly about this board was, while it claimed you could say what you want, mainly it was to say shitty things about people. Oh wait.... they had another message board for that? Specifically for "shit-talking." Oh and to answer the next question before you ask, yes these are women, ADULT women. Moms, even. Some even grandmas! My grandma would just shake her little redhead and in all her wisdom, ask why they just don't tell the person how they feel? Why say it to someone else? The world doesn't care if you hate/dislike/ think Willamina is a bitch. To them, the only reason Willamina is a bitch, is if she believes in fairies and gnomes, and bases her comments on that. Because a belief system is sooooo lame. And that damn Willamina talks way too much. And responds to topics she wasn't sent a gold invitation too. Now, Willamina has a strong opinion, but really? It's easier to ignore the annoying ones than it is to take the time to dwell on their everyday wrongdoings. Pointing out cheap shoes on someone else takes the attention away from dealing with the ugly low self esteem outfit some can't seem to take off.

Now, not all of these ladies did this. I have the utmost respect for many of these women. I have "known" them for a long time. They have incredible stories and strengths. There are several that watched the hands play out, such as myself, and you can definitely tell who was wearing the whiskers and tails in this catty game.

"If on a regular basis, you feel the need to share your negative opinions of women, with whom you really know nothing about, you are catty. If you hang out in cliques - be it personal or professional - and you seem to always find the time to strike up the latest gossip in reference to women you work or socialize with, you are catty. If you live with several women and have managed to cause division between them, you are catty. If you get a thrill out of persuading others to dislike individuals whom you dislike, you are catty. This list can go on and on, but why waste the time when you already know yourself." Monica Mi'Chelle

The best part is, they break their own rules. If Fannie Mae steals a candy bar, everyone turns a blind eye. But if that bitch Martha does, she is sooo lame. And fat. And eats hairy tacos. And it will go on and on for threads on end. So they can steal candy bars, but no one else can.If anyone else does, you get exiled to the foreign isles of Bitchdom. But if you are in good favor, you get to wear your "Lemmings Rock" shirt, and eat ice cream.

I left because I didn't have the time to tote around an online "Mean Book." And I would never want my children to behave in such a way, as children or adults. So I took my toys and went home.

And yes, I soooo did.

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." Maya Angelou


annoyed?good. said...

so if I feel all sweet and giggly inside when I read your posts between you and I, we are good?

And it wasn't all cussing and candybars. I gave vocab and spelling lessons. You coulda helped me out on that one. Punctuation is of the utmost importance. :)

Hope you have a nice weekend. For realz.

annoyed?good. said...

Oh and big ups on the disclaimer. See, you did learn something from me!!

Now if only I could get others to believe my disclaimers.....

~amelia~ said...


wonder if I fall into this category??

and where exactly is bitchdom??

Anonymous said...


somehow, somewhere, people who immerse themselves with the goings on of the internet, and to whom what is said on a message board is REALLY important, find themselves with an intense desire to be mean. Mean, nasty, and downright trashy. I would bet that if you had the displeasure in meeting these people in person, you would find them to be less than impressive, and certainly nothing to write home about.

The fact that these nasty trashbags are mothers? Disgraceful. The idea that this is how we treat each other as humans? Disgusting.

I would tell them to visit St. Jude's, and see people with real problems. Or something to that extent.

Look on the bright side.....they clearly like you. Something about you really attracts them, or makes them envy you. Need proof? Check out your comments, or even your stat counter to see how often they are checking you out :)


Anonymous said...

ps - I am sure that disclaimer came from something along the lines of, oh I don't know......maybe LAW AND ORDER? but if annoyed?good wants to think she's the smartypants one, let her think that. Sometimes we have to act excited to let the "special" people think they are smart. Kind of like when you smile at the retard cleaning the tables at Burger King....


teachmom said...

I like being me...I like being Williamina. ;) I'd rather show up and not be invited or talk my butt of than say, being in the "bastards' club." ;)
And yes, Nea, you have a way about you. I think it's a gift!

Heidi said...

You go girlfriend!!

It takes a woman of character to stand against the grain and to stand for something- if you don't stand for anything, eventually you're gonna fall flat on your face.