Friday, May 23, 2008

Vacation comes to an end.

ewwww, it's been a minute. I have been enjoying the sunshine and vacation. We even had the kids play hooky when family came in town. Hopefully they won't want to debate about it when they are 16 and want to skip school for something like a broken fingernail. I don't want to think that I raised some lawbreakers with their school track record.

Hubby and I met several years ago, and we lived in different states. Being promised dreams come true, happily ever after and even a free back rub or two, I went willingly. (I am easily bought.) We then had 3 kids, and moved back to my home state. It was hard for us to spend just small portions of our lives with family, and since 50% of Hubby's family doesn't even know the definition of family, that was a driving force in our choice to be here with my side of the fam. If you followed that, amazing. I'm not going to quiz you on the family tree or anything.

The hardest part is the goodbye. Oldielocks opens floodgates and uncontrollably sobs when she knows people are going to leave. It was so hard the other day, when she had to say goodbye to her uncle. Hardest for her, because she had been around mainly him, since birth. She sobbed and sobbed, all the way until she had to go into school.

After that, we met up with Hubby, so the other 2 could say goodbye. They did fine, and we went on our way. I look back in the mirror and see Middle's little lip tremble.

"Awww, are you sad, Middle?" I asked, which obviously knowing the answer

She held her wrinkled chin firm, big blue eyes brimming with tears, and squeaks out, "no".

"It's okay to be sad. Goodbyes are mostly sad, but you get to think about all the fun you had." Here I am trying to be about as helpful as a stick in the mud, but I'm trying.

I'm looking at her in the rear view mirror, and she turns her face to me, with silent tears, and says:

"I'm not sad, but my heart is... just a little." and pinches her index and thumb together to show me "a little."

That pretty much broke my heart, and made me second guess any and all decisions I have ever made for my children. Life would be perfect if the people that love my children, could be around all the time, and they never had to say goodbye, and then, their hearts would never be sad, not even a little.

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