I got a maid.
Not just any maid. I searched high and low, researched qualifications. Cleaning the poopers at a truck stop makes for a highly qualified candidate, in case you're wondering. I wanted someone who was going to clean, polish all the nooks and crannies and give me a floor I could drink off of. I have high standards. If licking the floor is a sign of cleanliness, then by golly, that's the floor I will have. She showed up for her first day last week.
She was a sweet little thing. Matching uniform, well groomed. She listened intently while I told her the tasks I needed her to complete. She was on board, ready to scrub and scrape.
Then I asked her to shine the latrines. (that's fancy talk for toilet)