sound bytes

(while driving)

"Mommy, U have pinkalicious on you shirt."

"Yes I do Buggy. You have pinkalicious on your pants." (pink is Pinkalicious in our house. As yellow is yellow school bus. don't ask)

"What you say?"

"You have Pinkalicious on your pants"

"Huh... what.... you.. say?" (complete with high decibel on the word say)

"You heard me. You have pink on your pants."

-----quiet-----

(little voice, breaking) " I not hurt you"

"What?"

Tears in eyes, voice cracking " I not hurt you mommy, I sorry"

" Of course you didn't hurt me, why are you crying? You silly girl."

and then I realize she doesn't understand "heard" and is mistaking it for "hurt." I try to explain, but explaining anything to a 2 year old is like reasoning with a dog in a fire hydrant factory. pointless.


Convo #2
(In the car, Middle salivating over Oldielocks shoulder)

"Middle, you should ask for a DS for your birthday." says the not so selfless child that was gifted a DS by Santa recently."

"Those are really expensive, Oldielocks. Like almost $1,000.00 dollars" says the kid clearly has no concept of money.

"No they're not, they're more like $300 dollars." says the kid who needs cliff notes on the value of a dollar.

"No, Oldielocks, the Wii is like 300 dollars, and that's why Daddy got so angry about the Wii, because it's really expensive." (Daddy about blew a gasket when someone knocked over water next to the Wii)

"Well the DS is free."

"NO IT"S NOT."

"Yes it is, if Santa gives you one. The Elves make it.... duhhhhhh!" (Fo reals... it is?... Santa gonna bring free samples of salad dressing next year if we're doing the free thing and all)

"Well, it's $1000.00 and $300.00 dollars, so I'll never get one."

And here promptly ends the story because I then gave them each a penny for every minute of silence they had. They are up to five cents. Financial planning seminar is next.