I used to work in a daycare, in my early twenties. I was the head teacher, in the little 2's and 3's room. I had a group of 7 adorable, fabulous kids. There was this super tiny, little blond hair boy, we'll call him "Smalls". Small's mom worked in technology and Small's dad was a pain. Seriously. He would come in and ask about the cubbies. And why Smalls was on the end. He would want to know if Smalls could have something different for lunch, because Smalls didn't like pizza. Or ham, or oranges, or a multitude of normal toddler food. Could Smalls sit on a chair during circle time? Could Smalls be the line leader? Smalls likes the Icky Sticky Frog book, could I read it today? Smalls says that the other kids don't share waffle blocks with him, could I make sure that they share with him?
It got real old, real quick, and many days went by, where I swear my eyes would start to twitch and my ear would explode when I would see them come into the room. I would try to be grossly involved in setting the table for breakfast, or labeling diapers, or choking on my spit, anything but interacting with Small's dad. He had this high pitched voice, that he would almost sing song into a room, so much that I heard Cats offered him a role, complete with tights. Orange colored ones.
Once it was snowing outside, and he wanted to know if we went outside. Uh, that would be a no.
A freezing, no-way-in-hell-or-Antarctica-I-am-taking-7-toddlers-out-in-the-snow, NO. He proceeded to go ask the office why I didn't. He then, tried to call the state to question what the actual weather temperature it could be to take them out. He spent the next two weeks, calling around 10, and coming in to ask if we took them outside that day. "It doesn't have a wind chill of 25, you can go outside," he would sing-song in his annoying Fiddler on the Roof voice. The whole "bundle up 7 kids, hope they all brought boots, jackets, hats, gloves, pray they don't get wet, and bring them all back inside in ten minutes" didn't phase him. He wanted to know why I couldn't take just his son outside. Because apparently the other 6 kids and their tuition paying parents didn't matter, as long as Smalls got his breath of fresh Arctic air everyday. The kicker: Smalls got picked up at 2:30 every day. So, uh, WHY couldn't Daddy Musical take him outside?
Smalls's mom was preggers, and about to have a baby. As were a few other moms in the class. So, one day dad came to pick him up. And mentioned that grandma would be dropping him off the next day, because Mom had just had the baby. He was going to take Smalls to grandma's house, and then bring mom home from the hospital, the next day. He said it was going to be a big surprise. That there was going to be a baby in their house.....
They, not one time, told this little boy that his mom was going to have a baby. They were going to "surprise" him when she came home. Yeah, big fun fat surprise mom walking in with a screaming baby. Move over, Smalls, there is a new kid who needs to go outside in town. I was completely baffled. It's not like they didn't have 9 months to prepare, and they are so worried if this kid sleeps at 1 instead of 12, but bringing home a sibling? Let's surprise him! I could just hear the melodic "Surprise!" and tried to stab myself in the big toe with a dull toothpick.
Should I mention that, 2 weeks later, mom brings him in and asks for some advice. Seems as though Smalls has a strong dislike for his sister. Hit her in the face. Every chance he gets. Uh... ya think. He's going to run screaming from the room for the rest of his life when someone mentions the word "surprise." Next time you want to surprise someone, give them pack of gum. It will go over much better.