Wednesday, October 01, 2008

WTF Wednesday #4

The husband comes from a jacked up family. I don't have the time nor does the internet have enough space for me to even try to make anyone understand.
It's complex.
To the 11th power.

Like his mom.
She had this boyfriend, they were together about 20 something years. He always had one liners and rude things to say. No one ever put him in his place. He was icky. And picky. He couldn't taste or smell. He had this weird piggy turned up nose, that it was kind of ironic, with nostrils wide open like that, and he couldn't smell. And his nose..... was the result of a nose job. He actually chose for it to be Mr. Piggy style. Like this: (complete with glasses cuz not only could he not taste or smell, he couldn't see.)

Back when we were dating/ first married, his mom would have us over for dinner.
They are Midwest folk, which is not a bad thing, but they do like meat and potatoes. It seems that's all we had. A slab of chicken boob from the grill, and potatoes. Or corn. Not even seasoned chicken boob. Just plop the salmonella magnet on the grill and burn away. She is the only person I have ever met that can burn water. She burned stuffing, pans, pop overs, eggs, everything. Which didn't matter because her bf couldn't taste. Supposedly he could taste butter, salt and orange. I opened up his lunch bag one time in the fridge, and it was a stick of butter, salt packets, hard boiled eggs and cheese. True story.

One day, we were there for dinner. It was chicken and rice, a casserole dish. It is what it is. We seat down to eat. Her BF, covers his food in salt, and starts to shovel it in, like slop to a pig. She turns to him and asks "How is it?" He starts to say it isn't good, it's terrible, he's going to have to get himself something, he can't eat it. She gets all teary eyed, and upset.

um, WTF!?!?! DUDE CAN'T TASTE!!! Are you seriously going to ask the guy with no taste buds how the food is and take his opinion on it? She was all kinds of sad/mad/crazy, and I was beyond baffled.

So, me, being me, and having had a enough of BF, opened my big chicken and rice eating mouth.

"Did you just ask the guy who can't taste...if the food was good? I really don't think he can give you a truthful comment."

His mom was kind of taken aback, husband starts laughing. Of course that egged me on. BF was like "well, it doesn't look like it taste good..." yeah, says the guy with the pig face and alien gut who would mow the lawn shirtless and had all these lumps poking out, commenting on what looks good. ewww.

"There is nothing appetizing about a stick of butter, but you're still munching on those like they are candy bars."

He had nothing to say.
Conversation over.

So I ate some of my bland chicken and stopped at Wendys on the way home.

5 comments:

Polly Wolly said...

And to think that I ate a hard-boiled egg and some cheese for breakfast this morning! What a coinkydink! Maybe I'm related to this guy? Whereabouts in the Midwest? lol

NeaCakes said...

only if you eat sticks of butter. every day. and ohio/michigan. lol

Polly Wolly said...

Nope...well not whole sticks of butter at all...
But, I do eat REAL butter now that I'm low-carb~no margarine for me.

He must've been on a severe kind of plan for pig-nosed no smell, no taste kind of weirdos...(but, honestly, dh can't smell, either...so, there's a possibility of a backwoods interbreeding between the two families or something). ;)

sarah said...

he was gross.

she was grosser.

truly.

~teachmom~ said...

blech. And...odd.

Wow, you've had some adventures, Nea!
I try and avoid the adventures connected to my dad's side of the family. I always walk away dizzy and gagging....or majorly ticked.