Wednesday, September 17, 2008

WTF Wednesday #2

On the coast. There are many things to enjoy. Surf, sun, sand.
And Seagulls.

You can tell when a storm is coming, they all go inland. If you feed one, you better hope you have tons, because now you have opened a non profit meal kitchen for them. And they expect it. They will stare you down with their beady eyes, inch closer, making little X shaped tracks, getting ready to snatch the tiniest crumb from you.

Gangsta seagulls. One swoops down, kind of scoping the situation. The posse hangs back, chillin; waitin for word to get back on the goods. They come struttin' up, leaning on one leg, lookin' fly with their beaks turned sideways, noddin "Sup? You gonna eat that?" And you got no choice but to hand it over, or dig a hole and bury your food. It's a shame how a bird can food snatch you, leavin' you with nothing but your sunscreen and keys to get through the day.

They are everywhere. Even at Disneyland. I was 17 ,at Disneyland with my friend and her family. 4 girls, teenagers, ridin rides. You know we had our eyes on the look out for Peter Pan and his crew. I had loooong hair, almost to my booty. We were standing in line, waiting to go on the tea cups. And if you have ever been to Disneyland, you know that you stand, in the shade, while you wait for tea cups. There's a price you pay for that.

There were these 2 boys, standing a few feet behind us, and we were conversing. I'm sure batting eyes and giggling, probably elaborating on our coolness or whatever. They start laughing, and of course, we think it's because we are THAT funny. I mean it's not abnormal to be known as funny, so we laugh too. Life is hilarious at that moment. Because the next moment is not so funny. When my friend's sister says, "Oh gross! You have bird poop on your butt!"

UH, WTF?!?!?!?

I'm thinking I leaned against the rail, and there's bird poop on it. Until I turn some more, and to my horror, those damn dirty food grubbin' seagulls had crapped all down my hair. Had to have been more than one, because the amount was unreal. Either that or the bird had been chomping on someone's Exlax and prunes. Just so we are clear on this, I had long DARK hair, and seagulls had white runny poop, with green middles. So picture my hair, looking like Cruella deVille down the back, with a big long dookie stripe.

That was one of the first times I realized there are things funnier than me. Such as seagull shitaki ruining my game. So gross.


J. Leigh Designz said...

OMG! That is true WTF!!! I laughed my arse off! TY! I watched John get pooped on by a bird once and it was priceless~!

~teachmom~ said...

Yeah, I got pooped on by those dang things during lunch hour "in the quad(where we all ate)" as a Junior. I was already not cool, so that just helped.