Wednesday, September 10, 2008

WTF Wednesdays

I'm gonna start this new thing, where on Wednesday, I'm gonna relay one of the many WTF moments I have had in my life. And there is MANY.

Like the time, when I was 13, and had my own job. As in babysitting and a paper route for all the Jon&Kate hatin Child Labor Lobbyists. Perfectly legit. With this glorious freedom, I was able to buy my own clothes, in whatever god awful ugly style I thought was hip. And no Mervyn's for me. I was going to buy teenager clothes. Cool things. Like my red vans. And red lipstick. I would go down to this store, by our house, called Susie's deals. Which when I look back on it, I think about how trashtacular it was. Hip styles for little money. I choked as I typed that last phrase.

Anyways, I was going on a beach adventure with a bunch of peeps. Possibly a boy or two that I thought was cute. I needed a bathing suit, and since I had my OWN money, it wasn't a problem.
I marched my 13 year old happy self down there, and picked out this one piece red number, complete with a belt. Straight out of Sports Illustrated Gone Wrong. It was cool, stylish, and oh so sophisticated. Much like myself. *big cheesy grin*

I was so excited the next day, in my Cindy Crawford meets Jane Fonda get up, that I couldn't wait to run into the ocean, splashing and having fun. About 10 minutes later, one of the adults with us, comes running over with a towel, and whispers "Honey, your bathing suit turned see-through when it got wet."

WTF!?!?!!?!? Not my ultra adult savvy lady in red bathing suit?!?! (complete with belt)
Sure enough I slowly opened my towel and took a peek. My South America, in it's early pioneer days was showing off it's soil, and my North America was giving a temperature reading on just how COLD the water was. I think I flushed a deep shade of red, to match my failed swimsuit. You could see it all, as in it hugged and curved areas a 13 year old didn't know they had. And if I could see it all, the 20 other teenagers with me had a very nice showing of what I had to offer the world. (Not that I was offering to the world, but if I was offering something such as that, they could see it.)

I spent the rest of the day huddled in a towel.

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